


Suitable

by Mirime



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Manga Spoilers, Prompt Fic, time skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-01 04:15:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12148416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirime/pseuds/Mirime
Summary: Mikasa and Levi talk at Flegel Reeves's wedding and come to an unexpected conclusion regarding their future.





	Suitable

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a tumblr prompt which went: _I wish you would write a fic where Mikasa unexpectedly proposes to Levi and she will not accept anything but a yes. Preferably cannon au during the current time skip. Bonus Levi is hesitant because he believes he is not good enough and Mikasa expunges all those doubts._
> 
> If you spot any Berserk references, they are most likely intentional. Certain portions of this fic were directly inspired by the victory ball scene in the Golden Age arc.

The music was loud even after Mikasa closed the door and walked to the edge of the porch. She wrapped her shawl - red with golden embroidery to match her dress - tighter around herself. She leaned against the railing and could just make out the closest sentries on the neighbouring roof and she automatically looked towards the south.

Nothing. No signal of any kind.

Of course, she didn't really expect there to be anything. The pattern of Marley attacks had been fairly predictable and they had another three weeks at least before another attack fleet approached their island. This night's celebration would not be interrupted and it was a good thing. Flegel Reeves deserved his wedding feast to go off flawlessly.

The music got louder and then quieter again as someone else left the hall. Mikasa turned her head and wasn't at all surprised to find Levi there. He, too, looked towards the sentries and then to the south before coming to stand next to her.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Mikasa's hand jerked towards her shawl before she forced herself to remain still.

"Nothing's wrong," she lied and from the way Levi glanced at her, he had caught it. Most of the time, being able to read each other so well was an advantage but not when Mikasa wanted to just wallow in her misery. Unfortunately, it didn't seem that Levi would let her.

"You've been tense since we got here," he pointed out. "I know I can't make you talk but it's obvious something's bothering you."

Mikasa winced. She thought she had hidden her discomfort better. She knew that her current problem was petty and unimportant. And although she was tempted to tell Levi all about it, she was also worried that he would tell her exactly that as well.

"It's something personal. It won't affect me if we need to take action tonight."

As long as she remembered she had a job to do, she would be fine. Even though it was very unlikely that anything was going to happen. Flegel was popular in the district and although Historia was attending, too - something which had been publicized thoroughly - there hadn't been an attack on her in more than a year. Precautions had still been taken - hence the sentries around the hall - but the presence of two MP guards and Historia's old squad at the wedding had been deemed enough for the Queen's protection.

"You know you're allowed to enjoy yourself."

Mikasa snorted.

"Shouldn't you take your own advice?" she asked. Not that she minded his presence; as a matter of fact, Levi, like a persistent fungus, had grown on her over the past few years. Lot of it was their combat partnership but there was a steadily strengthening personal connection, too. Blunt to the fault, neither of them had to guess at what the other was thinking and it was incredibly comforting to have that kind of an understanding with someone.

"Connie convinced Eren and Jean to compete in some sort of dancing. I can do without that kind of entertainment ."

Any other time, Mikasa would have at least smiled. She wanted Eren and Armin to get as much joy and fun in their lives as possible. Unfortunately, the mention of the guys' names brought back their words from earlier and she didn't hide her frown fast enough.

"Mikasa."

The single word was enough to shatter her defenses. Maybe she needed to hear Levi tell her she was making a big deal out of nothing. That she shouldn't take careless words which hadn't been meant maliciously to heart. That it didn't matter what Eren and Armin and others thought.

"What do you think of my dress?" she asked and straightened up, shrugging off the shawl and turning around on the spot to let him see the low back and the train. She finished her spin and waited for the inevitable condemn-

"It suits you."

Mikasa froze. He had been supposed to say something about how impractical it was. How the train would hinder her mobility or how it didn't seem her style at all. He was supposed to question why Mikasa Ackerman would choose a dress that had nothing to recommend it except for how pretty and fashionable it was.

"What?" she whispered. Levi frowned.

"What do you mean what? It was a compliment. You look nice in that dress." He sounded somewhat defensive but Mikasa didn't stop to think about that.

"But it's not my usual style."

"We usually don't attend weddings, either," he said and then, as things clicked into place for him- "Is that what's been bothering you? That people didn't like your dress?"

"No- yes- not exactly- I-" Mikasa paused to gather her thoughts before explaining. "People liked my dress, they just didn't think it was my kind of dress. I thought that for once I could indulge myself, to buy something because it's pretty, not useful. And everyone except you told me it looked nice but it wasn't me."

She wrapped the shawl around herself again, not because she was cold but because she needed to distract herself from Levi's intense stare.

"People used to say a lot of shit about my cravat at first. They thought it was too fancy for a thug from the Underground. But I liked it and kept wearing it and didn't give a damn what anyone thought. If you want to dress up on occasions like this, do it."

Mikasa found herself smiling at that. She still felt hurt over earlier but it was less painful somehow. She liked her dress and she looked good in it. That was what mattered, not what other people thought she should wear.

"Thank you," she said. Levi only shrugged in reply and leaned back against the railing. Mikasa played around with the edge of her shawl before she mirrored his action. She felt better now but she didn't want to go back inside yet. Watching Flegel and his new wife together made her envious. She was unlikely to experience something like that for herself.

When she had been younger, she had entertained the thoughts of becoming like that with Eren. She had dreamed of their wedding and how happy they would be together. She had realized since then that it wasn't going to happen, certainly not with Eren, and depending on what happened in the future, not with anyone else either.

As long as Marley was out there, as long as she was a soldier, she couldn't have the life she wanted.

She must have sighed or something because Levi cleared his throat pointedly before speaking.

"Is it still about the dress or about something else?"

Mikasa hesitated for a moment but as she had already confessed the more embarrassing part of her thoughts, she decided to share the other thing bothering her, as well. If anyone would understand, she had a feeling it would be Levi.

"Do you ever feel resentful that you won't get to do things people take for granted? I'm more likely to die in the next few years than I am to get married. And most of the time I don't mind. If I can protect people with my strength, then that is what I'll do. But tonight I looked at Flegel and Anette and all I could think was that it was unfair I couldn't have that."

"That's because it is unfair," Levi said. "We sacrifice our lives in more than just one sense so that people like them-" he gestured towards the hall doors, "-can live their dreams. And unless we get really lucky, our own dreams never happen."

Mikasa heard the tone in his voice, the one he always had when thinking about Erwin. And she knew, she absolutely knew, that in about five years, she would be sounding the same. She leaned slightly to the side, until her shoulder bumped against his. She felt him lean into the touch and they stayed like that for a while. It was a simple contact but it felt nice.

"What is your dream?" she asked. It was a deeply personal question but the evening seemed to be made for sharing confidences they wouldn't talk about otherwise.

"Peace. Not having to fight anymore. A small tea shop of my own. Maybe someone to share it with."

"A house with a garden," Mikasa said almost immediately. "Cozy rooms where you feel safe. The uniform is in the wardrobe gathering dust."

"Disgusting. You should dust everything at least once a week."

"I don't have to dust in my dream," she retorted, not even trying to keep the smile off her face.

"That sounds like a nightmare," Levi said in all seriousness but she could hear the teasing tone in his voice. She was about to say something about his cleaning obsession when he turned his head and looked at her. "I suppose Eren's in your dream, too."

Mikasa held his gaze even as she shook her head slightly.

"Not anymore. I made my peace with the thought of losing him, I think. If I live through this all, I don't want his or Armin's memory to become a burden to me. They wouldn't want it either. I... I am going to live. I am going to live enough for three people."

"You will live through it all, Mikasa," he said with such an absolute conviction her breath caught in her throat. "You will get to have your dream come true."

"You too," she said. "You will get to fulfill your dream, too."

"Maybe," he said but the doubt was clear in his voice and she wasn't going to stand for it.

"No maybe. You will, both of us will. We will survive and we will live and our dreams will happen. We'll have a house with a garden at the back and a tea shop in the front and you will dust every day if you want and I'll tease you about it but help you anyway."

Mikasa paused to take a breath and she noticed Levi's strange expression.

"We?" he asked and only then did she realize what she had said. For a second she wondered if she should take it back. Blame it on being caught in the moment, on having misspoken. But then she imagined it coming true. She imagined sharing her future life with this man. This man who understood her on a visceral level. Who frustrated her and challenged her and comforted her and told her the pretty dress suited her without any add-endums.

Her feelings for Levi were different from her feelings for Eren but that was fine. They were different men, after all. And maybe she didn't love him yet but she didn't hate him and she actually liked him most of the time and the more she thought about it, the more appealing it seemed.

"Yes, we. Together. If we survive to the end of it all, we should be together. Unless you don't want to," she trailed off because while she was becoming pretty certain of her own feelings in regards to him, she couldn't be sure about his feelings for her.

"It's not about what I want-"

"It is," she cut him off. "I think we would be great together. I want us to be together. Right now or a few years later, it doesn't matter. You're a part of my dream now and you said it yourself that I'm having it come true. So if you want me, just a little bit, then it's happening."

Levi didn't say anything for a while, studying her face and clearly thinking about his reply. And then his expression softened and he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"The dress really suits you, Mikasa. You look beautiful." She flushed at that, more embarrassed by his honest compliment than about her round-about proposal. But he wasn't done yet. "I want you more than a little bit but I don't think we should rush into things. If you wake up tomorrow morning and still want to go through with this, then we will talk details."

"That would be perfect."

They stood there, seeing each other in a new light and the music from the hall washed over them like a portent of things to come.


End file.
